Proud to be here

maybe other people proud to be who they are because of their parents are living in the diamond castle,
maybe they proud of their father because he is able to earn thing they want,

maybe they proud to have such a rich family, uncles, aunties are living in very well condition,

maybe they proud because their family have their very successful company,

maybe they proud because their can fly to anywhere they like in every vacation

maybe they proud and proud and walking as proud as they are because the world is them

but i am proud because i have very humble mom

but i am proud becaue i have a hardworking dad

but i am proud because i have very stubborn elder borther

but i am proud to have an obedient sisters

but i am proud to have a talented younger brother

and i am can proudly to say...am proud to grew up in difficult environment

it was tough but i am proud because i was there to experience that, and amazingly...it was taught myself to be a better person, to know how precious my family are in my life and how wonderful God is.

it cannot be compare to anything that i will have someday, it cannot be compare to any gold, it just incomparable.

without them..i will not standing here, i will not be as who i am right now, and i wll not know the reason for this life..

i am be grateful because i have them in this short life.

Recovering

it is hard to start a new chapter with the old environment and especially if the pain is still there deep inside our heart :) but once it goes, flowing through the days it slowly getting smoother and the pain is slowly healing.

To smile and to talk as before to someone that you loved before...lol the most difficult things to do if you dont give a try to yourself to do it. but when you tried and you will realized that its not too hard to behave as usual :) even the tears is still come out. its normal :) yeah its normal but remember to smile because that is the only drug for tears

when we love, we miss

when we miss, we communicate

when we communicate thats mean we care and he is important to us

but once everything is changing, when we couldnt do anything to save our relationship, when decide to be apart while we still loving each other..

doesnt mean we cant talk like before, doesnt mean we cant say hello, doesnt mean we can laugh.

and thats why..

we loving each other, that why we decided to be apart

its painful and thats why it is called love :)

the moment that we shared will be the sweetest moment for this chapter

Because of this day...

our life is just funny...

yesterday we are rich, today we are very poor

yesterday we are at the top of the world, the next day it will not be surprise when we are at the bottom of this world

yesterday we thought 'the world is mine' but the next day we just realized that everything is fake

yesterday we have something that made u smiled and the next day its gone from you

yesterday we laughed, today we cry

yesterday we love and today we are not

funny ha? we can have thousands of things that will make us happy today, but make sure within them only one of them, we still have when today is gone..

we can have thousands of things in our life that make us smile, but it cannot be compare to the one thing that make us cry but its everlasting.

laugh when you got something that makes you feel happy because people will not call you crazy..

cry when something had been gone from you, because its make us feel sad, so nothing is wrong when we are cry...

scream when you couldnt hold that pain inside you, because it will make you feel better and it will healing you.

encourage yourself when we are down because nobody able to helping us. they dont know how deep you are felt.

be strong when you are weak because that is the only medicine for that.

forgive when people made mistake because nobody is perfect..

and at the end..someday when you look back you will smile because without this day you will not able to be on the day after this day..^_^

love you...(tears)

tidak tau apa yang perlu dikatakan, terutama kalau di dalam situasi yang kurang stabil, something that you really want let it out form inside you..but you just dont know where to throw it out, dont know to who you should be telling all, and to who you should be blame on for what is happening to yourself. and at the end...you just mad to yourself for whats happening. why this why that, why only me?

yeah thats what am feeling right now! its about to blow up from inside!!! but i couldnt fine where to throw it out, its a point when you mad to God i know i should not saying like that, but i couldnt help myself! its too much! its to much...i know He have his own plan for everyone of us..but why i cant see anything? why?

i couldnt carry this burden its too much God its too much! untill when i have to live my life like this? untill when? You have to tell me! You just have to...

Flying across the Indian ocean! ^_^

had u ever feel like u want to fly across the ocean..so you can go and meet someone that u love over there? LOL that i what i feel right now. the feeling is just awesome like the whole world is mine.

what make me feeling this way?? guess what?? i got a called from him on monday..on that time i felt like i wanted to jump i want to tell the whole world that he is the one that i was waiting for his called and to told me that he home safely finally over..when he called me and told me that he is home!

and feeling like i wanna fly across the sea right now so i can go unto him and say how much i love him, lol just did a little chat him...and of course i miss him a lot.

Our Story

when i first met him, it was in the confress room in my collage, when we was attended the MQA meeting during my first semester in degree. I know he have something that attracting my eyes, but i was ignored it.

and since that, where never we met..he will smiled and maybe saying hello to me. For me for he doing that...is enough

and i met him again when we were doing internal subject (ANSYS) together, and there was a day, when i was in the library, tried to finishing my ANSYS work, he was seat at the table beside me with his 'twin', and he suddenly came to my table, and started looking at my work and when i turned my head, he started to smiled..and asked me some question, and after a few minutes, he asked my name and he told me his name...not only told me his name, but spelled his name for me (laughing) S.H.A.U.N and from that day, i know him as Shaun but before that, i knew him as a man with ball head with chubby face (laughing again)

after went back home from library, i tried to found his facebook short from the long story after few weeks, he started a short chat with me, before that, i was hoping that he is single, but sadly to say during that time he was with a Philippians girl. A bit disappointed yeap..for sure, but that was finished on that time..we chat as usual when he popped out first on facebook, if not i will just ignored him

and entered my year 2 for degree...lol there was the story began between us, he repeated one subject (control) and we were in the same class, but of course most of the time another subject that he took was clashing with control's class. he asked for my phone number, so he can copy my notes.

at first, the business is just want to borrow books and maybe do some assignments together. after for a while, when we met in guard house for passing the notes, he called me strawberries (smiling) and that was the first time i heard that kind of name. and when i asked why..he just smiled. and from that time, he left something to my heart, started to feel somehow, but it wasnt enough, untill one day took me to dinner, after dinner we started texting untill we both sleepy.

after that night everything is not the same as before, he will msg me, and asked me to go out for dinner with him, texting again, untill we felt a day was not completed when we both not doing one of them (texting or dinner together) or maybe both.

we both started crazy to each other...

and it were bring us to where we are right now..we loving each other.

we got mad, but we forgiven

we love and we accepting as we are

and now he is leaving..i think now he is on his way..(maybe around Nilai or Sepang) to airport. He is going back to Malawi where he is coming from.

i hope what we had started here..will be continue even you are at the other side of this world.

have a nice journey hope i will be the only one for u..because you are the only one for me

ok..before am going to talk let me ask a question..what can u see from a picture that i just uploaded above?

an African guy? owh he is just my best friend, yeah he is the one who will be with me when i needs hands to help. But he is still not the main character for today LOL

can u see a malay guy in the between of us?

yeah he is our main character...well i know u can guess why (hahaha)

yeah of course because he is closing his eyes in other words he is sleeping..more dramatic he is sleeping while the lecture is going on..

well that is the one of the awesomeness of my classmates!!!

and how about me? lol of course i am much more awesome than them...lol u know why?

because am the one who took this picture! awesome right?

while the lecture is going on we just playing with the webcam and took pictures from the class started till the class ended LOL

can u do something like that while u are sitting at the first row? (because that was what i did :P)

Faithful

believe what u see is not called faith...but believe something u could not see and you know and believe its real and will happen on your future..yeah its call "Faith"

People says "be faithful and your life will be fruitfull..." yeah thats the fact of life..be faithful in whatever we do and we will see something incredible happening in our life. I've seen it through my life...and the feeling is wow...imagine we just need a cup cake but He give a wedding cake (lol) yeah thats the feeling like.

Even we were experienced the feeling for being faithful, even we've seen the fruit of being faithful but we still able to be forgetting it.. especially when people in trouble or big problem (yeah we just a human) and one of human being is they forget how great their God but they always think how big is the problem that their facing on a certain time . Funny right? but thats the fact like it or not as a human we have to admit it. Thats is one of our fondness behavior. ( am i right? ask ourself)

It's okay if we as human forget about how to be faithful sometimes but, once we realize that we have a great God that always standing at our back as a supporter, and be on our side as a friend, we have to turn and start being faithful again. We fall, We hurt, We cry but He don't really care about that but what is the Desire of Him is to see how we get up, how do we rise and how rebuild ourselves...God Bless and happy weekend

Thank You...

wow!!! its been along time i never been here..I think since last year right???

yeah I miss this place, the place that makes me can say anything without worries (but i think am a little worries about it now because one of my friends knows about this blog already) well i don't have to care about that person! it doesn't important.

As usual after busy with assignments, had a short semester break I (as a student) have to start with a new semester again, but this time a little bit different because I am in year 2 now! and of course i have to work harder than before ( i hope i can remember to work hard LOL). Well i can deny..I have to work harder than before to pass this semester and have to work very-very hard to get 4.00! I will not say this semester is a tough semester but i will call challenging semester for me!!! The sounds make me change my perspective.

Well thats not the topic I wanna talk about today..but I wanna share about another wonderful God's work in my life..so be ready, I hope my testimony will be an encouragement to people who reading this and for myself too. (especially when I am feeling down)

financial problem is not not a big issue for me already. Every sem I have to face the same problem until at one level... I just tired to being here but God is wonderful! So the same problem i had been faced last sem..at first I still can be cool. My parents told me to be patient because they can't earn the amount of money that time. I was just leaved to God! I said "Lord I've seen wonderful things that You did in my life so nothing will be impossible in the same case right?" But till the end I was still don't get the money for paying my college fees. But God is good (all the time) He brought a group of friends come to help me.

They are just around me, but i never thought about them before! (for asking help) and i never expect anything from them because they are not my people (that was i thought before) LOL see God's work is totally different and its far far away from the way we are thinking. For the short story I received someone amount of money..and it was more than i asked from God! LOL He is good! I am so bless!

I learn something from what happened. Just be patient to His work, yeah thats not gonna be easy for waiting something that you don't know that where it will be come from! and that is why we have build a good faith (Faith is not something you believe what u see now but u believe what u believe and u believe it will happen on future, something will happen!)